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If you've been following here for awhile, you may know that I have struggled with depression for most of my life. I just went through a REALLY bad bout and I think I'm starting to come out of it (thank GOD!!!).
During that time, this quote was stuck in my mind a lot. I realized that a big part of my problem is that I'm constantly telling myself I shouldn't be this way and I should be that way. I shouldn't be doing this because I should be doing that. "Rene, you're lazy. You should be designing instead of watching TV. No one will follow you if you never post anything. You might as well just shut it down. AND you're a horrible mother. You should be doing something with your kids instead of laying in bed. Rene, you should be doing yard work instead of this. What is wrong with you? Look at all of those other people out there smiling - functioning and accomplishing things. Look at YOU! You're sad. You're sad and you'll never be happy. You'll never be them. You'll never be who you should be."
But I AM who I should be. If God had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise. We all struggle in our own ways. My Grandma suffered with physical pain (arthritis) for most of her life. And she was a gem. She didn't deserve that. I struggle with emotional pain. It's just how I was made. It's just a part of who I am. But it's not ALL of me.
I am not Depression. I am Rene - a mom, wife, sister, friend, designer, creative, silly, caring, overly empathic, sensitive, funny, and weird. I just happen to have a slice of depression on the side.
Once I got a grasp on how much that affected me, I did my best to just be instead of beating myself up over who and what I "should" be.
Wow... what a difference.
* Free to use however your little heart desires *
